Sometimes I feel so discouraged when I fail to achieve something that I feel as if I've not got enough strength to take that one last step from attempt to success. And I have no reason not to feel in such a way. Since my childhood, I have not achieved enough success in any field, whether it be in academics, or literature or science, or any other form of extra-curricular activity. I was always the introvert boy in the last-but-one bench, who is noticed but barely taken into account. I always tried to keep my head up in the crowd, but always ended up getting lost. Everytime I went to do something good, or even out-of-the-box, everytime I has to retract my steps, because of one problem or the other. Sometimes it was my own fear of failure, I will admit that, but largely because of upwind circumstances. I always waited for my chance, and sometimes snatched a few, but always ended up disappointing myself and my peers. It’s hard to imagine I am unable to clear even a goddamned race in a mobile phone or even fight a bunch of monsters without cheats in a PC, forget about my real-life performances. I feel as if nobody wants me to win. Everytime, every single time I feel that something good is finally going to happen to me, something odd happens and I have to back-off, willingly or unwillingly. For once I want to do something big, something which will make atleast my close few notice me, take me seriously, appreciate me and encourage me and if God permits help me in reaching the top. For once I want to be in the top, as a winner, second to none. Nobody notices me in whatever I do, and people who wash dirty linen in public are given more importance . WHY?? Just because they are covering themselves in a outer shell with fake emotions pleasing everybody, lying and bitching about things they don’t even mean but I, on the other hand I expose my true colors of naked truth to the world, work in the daylight and give everyone a clear insight to my thoughts!!!
This isn't just my story, in every success story, we always forget the once who struggled more than the successful one but had to opt out or be forced out the race by unforeseen circumstances. They are the ones who are the hardest hit the hammer of fate, they neither get success nor appreciation. There are obvious exceptions of course, but this is the large picture. And I can relate to those people because I feel I am connected to them by similar fates.
It is so disgusting to see people go past us, sometimes on the way someone else shows them, without any acknowledgement or appreciation to their peers. Sometimes I feel like getting a gun and shoot all those people down. Everybody looks upto the winner, appreciates him, follows his path, but everybody forgets the one who strives with a true conviction in his heart, with dedication, but fails in the last moment. Just because they didn’t go the last mile doesn’t erase the fact that they travelled a long path with a virtue in their hearts which now-a-days is given to only a few blessed ones.
The question that should be asked to the world is that why the world always regard the success of the few who reached heights like the Everest and forget those who die persevering to climb to the top? Why the world has always acknowledged the Generals who fought and won wars, either out of need for lebensraum or greed for power, but few even remember those who fought their hearts out, killing themselves and seeing their brethrens getting killed to save their honor? Why always their has to be always a race for survival and not a combined effort for the same? These questions remain unanswered even today and I am sure with the way things go in this world, these questions will never see the daylight, that’s the tragedy of this world.